As the only NYU undergraduate student enrolled in the course (and the only non-music education student), I realized afterwards how different the approach of my participation must've been compared to the other NYU grad students.
I had approached my participation in IMPACT as just another undergraduate student, similar to most of the international students who participated. Over the course of IMPACT however, I realized my contact with the creative process proved to be much different compared to most of the students. For example, I realized I was always one of the firsts to volunteer in a group environment. I noticed how most of the international students were very shy and did not want to participate when required to be put in a spotlight.
I believe in a certain way I empathize with their feelings of shyness. I had gone to local school in Taipei, Taiwan until the 6th grade and my transition to international school starting with middle school proved an eye opener that required a huge adjustment: from my language usage to my attitude.
I believe a few things contributed to the international students' shyness, something that I was very familiar with when I first transferred into international school. In a drastically different culture, it is easy to assume that the environment can be hostile; I believe the IMPACT staff made an excellent job to ensure that the environment is a safe and open one. Their shyness is also an attribute of their culture, I believe. It was frowned upon to try to stand out in a crowd when I was in local school; all the students were generally taught to conform in the tiniest details--the way one stands in line, the way one speaks, to the way one sits at one's desk. If a student liked something different than the mainstream's likings, then the individual was considered weird and outcasted. There was very little empathy in accepting or considering someone else's views.
In retrospect, I believe I could've adjusted my perspective and given the international students more opportunities to participate and share. I think that since I'm already relatively familiar and comfortable with sharing, I should've given more chances to the students rather than always volunteering first and stealing other people's opportunities to share.
IMPACT also taught me what it's like to be assigned to a group and work with the group consistently for a whole month. My group dynamic wasn't the greatest; there was in fact a lot of bickering in between our members and I regret to say that there were moments where I could've been kinder. I think I got lost in my competitive nature--I wanted to present the best material we could and I allowed too many instances of conflict unresolved. I became very frustrated and so have the rest of my group members; some chose to opt-out and not participate entirely. Some became annoyed with my requests. We lost group spirit at the end. Some didn't have the same vision shared with me and some of the group members, and I believe some came to saw me as tyrannical and harbored negative feelings towards me. This outcome taught me some very valuable lessons. It taught me to be more self-aware, especially in competitive situations. It taught me to reconsider what is most important under any circumstance; often times I enjoy in the thrill of competition, but I also can be very short-tempered. I think my desire in competition and in being the best comparatively is a sort of conceited attitude that I should examine further. Recently I had realized it seeps into every nook and cranny of my life. Though some consider being competitive as I good thing, I believe the motivations behind a competitive personality like mine should be examined more.
On the other hand, IMPACT has been such an invaluable experience for me because of how amazingly well-resourced, organized, welcoming IMPACT was. It is a very fortunate opportunity for anyone indeed, as the program is filled with skill learning experiences. As a participant, I had access to so many incredibly talented staff and faculty who welcomed my curiosity. When I was in IMPACT, I felt like I could explore and learn everything I was curious about at the tip of my fingers. It was an amazing learning experience. Contrary to some of my experiences in undergrad, all of the teachers and lecturers were very easy to talk to and very happy to teach their craft.
As a bonus to participating in IMPACT, we were gifted the books Consilience, Cassandra, and The Rhythmic Event. I'm still working my way through the texts, however they're such delightful gifts; the fact that they were designed to supplement my experience with IMPACT and life was so, so great. I can't wait until I finish the texts and reflect on their relevance to IMPACT.
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